Guest Post: Best of Fates (or, obscure TV shows and code names)

If you’re not reading Megan at Best of Fates, you’re really missing out. I read her blog, often, and I have no clue what she does for a living. But, after reading her blog, I know that the world is a better place mustachio’d, and that the zombie apocalypse will likely start in a field, with a bunch of pretty girls in dresses running around taking pictures of each other. And, really, what better way to start the end of the world as we know it than with pretty girls running around a mustachio’d world in pretty dresses.

Archer^* is a metaphor for my life.

Not in the traditional sense, that’s there’s something about it that can be used to explain why I stalk groundhogs or spend parties dancing in the corner. But, rather, it represents my complete inability to man up in the face of adulthood.

Some people attend therapy. Some paint scenes of little boys running through jumbling surf. Some volunteer with the USO, raise sheep, or collect Jelly Bellys.

Me?

I watch Archer.^**

I feel a deep bond with the female lead, Lana. Don’t worry, I’m a secret agent who sleeps with all my coworkers. But it was my childhood dream to be a jewel thief and I feel like there’s a similarity there. Plus, Lana shares a certain physical resemblance to my childhood idol, Dolly Parton.

Archer doesn’t particularly remind me of Burt Reynolds, but that’s what imagination is for.^***

When I lay in bed at night, tossing and turning, unable to sleep, I turn on Netflix and re-watch an episode.

And, as I lay there, it occurs to me that maybe, somewhere, there’s an evil mastermind plotting to blow up a modern day Zeppelin. Then I know the world is just as I imagine it to be, and can finally get some sleep.

If I had a code name
It’d probably reference awkwardness
Or cheese,
Megan (editor’s note: my only experience with code names comes from when I was giving an overview to an intern about the importance of data encryption. Just as I was saying “if you were trying to send a NOC list to someone, you would want it encrypted, to make things difficult for anyone monitoring traffic on any computers between here & there.” As I finished that sentence, I got an email from my friend J, whose “from name” at the time was listed as “Disco Lemonade” which would be a great name for both a code name or a band).

*I refer, of course, to the tv show. Not the most useful member of a griffin hunting group.

** On the likely chance you find your entertainment in something classier than an FX, adult-only cartoon, feel free to replace Archer with Julius Caesar. But you should probably imagine Portia in Lana’s place instead of Calpurnia. ‘Cause let’s face it, nobody finds a role model in Calpurnia.

***This is a Best Little Whorehouse in Texas shout out. Obviously. (editor’s note, I totally got this reference)