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Guest Post: Taming the Insanity (or how to better run around like a chicken with its head cut off)

by John on July 20th, 2011

I’ve actually been having trouble writing an intro for the lovely KLZ. She’s funny. She’s witty. She’s smart. She’s pretty. But, after a minute on her own blog, you’ll know all of that as truth, so it feels redundant to put that here.

The thing that isn’t obvious after just a few minutes on her blog, but after steady reading? It’s obvious that KLZ knows the “ins and outs” of blogging – better than most anyone else. Seriously. I’m quite excited to have her words (even if they’ve been difficult to come across) here. Thanks, KLZ! And, from one person who feels like life is a constant battle to not feel like a chicken with its head cut off, let me know if you ever figure that out.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been hit by writer’s block.

It’s been happening for some weeks now. Even when I find something to say, I find I’m only capable of saying it in bullet points. While this is fantastically easy for people at work to read, my blog is supposed to tell a story. My story. A story I’m not sure anyone but me wants to read.

So this writer’s block has been a bit of a problem for me. I blame work. With my workload increasing fast and furious I no longer have the ability to let my mind wander at night and formulate ridiculous blog posts where I document myself acting like an ass. Instead, all day, I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off. When I finally get the toddler to bed, I sit back down and work. Then I fall asleep and drool on my keyboard.

Now, the upside to all of this is that I am getting a hell of a lot done. You all know what the downside is. (The downside is, I’m a chicken with my head cut off.)

Now, this is not a foreign place for me to be. When I was in my last quarter of college, I was taking a full load of classes, interning 45 hours a week for a major corporation, buying a condo, commuting 3 hours a day and searching for a full-time post-graduation job. At that point in my life, when I finally got home at night, I would shotgun diet pepsi, do some homework and then stare glassy eyed at the TV. I watched Fear Factor. It was the only show my feeble, over taxed brain could process. Co-eds in tiny clothes eating horse testicles? Not a hard plot to follow.

As embarrassing as it was to watch Fear Factor, it was literally the only thing I could process at the end of the day. Full House was too much for me. Plus, as I sat there embarrassed to be watching I could always think, “But at least I’m not eating horse testicles.”

So now, we’ve come to a time in my life where I am similarly overwhelmed. We own two homes, one of which we can’t sell and lose money on every month. Work is trying to kill me. My boss is trying to delegate my responsibilities so I don’t die (so I can work more). I have a toddler. I’m pregnant. My husband wants me to manage his small business start-up from a marketing perspective. I have a personal blog. I have a professional blog.

Ultimately, I’m tired and possibly ignoring my friends when they ask me to go get a beer (how dare those bastards even ask! Don’t they know I’m busy and pregnant?) But at least I’m not eating horse testicles.

Or watching Fear Factor.

From → Guest Post

26 Comments
  1. Thanks for having me 🙂

  2. I can’t even begin to imagaine . . . oh lord. I was so tired w/ all 3 pregnancies, and I didn’t work outside the home. I think you need to get ‘sick.’ Take a mental health day. Kick back. Sit by the water. Good lord.

    • We’re going to Vegas. For a wedding I’m dreading. So that should be….relaxing…

  3. Oh man, when Full House is too much, you KNOW your plate is full! I’m afraid I’m suffering from the same malady, too.

  4. You know that scene in Cool Hand Luke where Luke has been in the box for a whole week and he’s in the cafeteria and there’s forcing him to eat all his food, and there’s no possible way he could do it? So all the prisoners walk by and each take a scoop of food off his plate and eat it for him?

    I wish I could come up with a cyber equivalent of that for you. We would all so love to help.

    • Is it wrong that I genuinely like being compared to a prisoner?

  5. I think every post on Daddy’s Runs A Lot needs the phrase “Co-eds in tiny clothes eating horse testicles?”

    John? You better get to it.

  6. I’m still amazed she has the nerve to not come see me, my wife and my little one. Seriously, some people, right?

  7. Did David finally figure out how to make edible crayons??

    • Sadly, no. He’s building some DOW stock analysis tools and wants a website.

  8. Hang in there girl!!! Sending you hugs and energy waves. I think bulleted posts would be an awesome weekly meme.

  9. Good lord, woman. You’re a powerhouse.

    Seriously.

  10. Hot damn, lady! Put your feet up and pour yourself a drink….oh, wait.

    • Well…you know….I can have all the milkshakes I want now. In my personal opinion, it’s not a bad trade off.

  11. So you’re saying horse testicles aren’t delicious?

    DANG it.

    • I think the delicious is really dependent on what type of sauce you fill them with.

  12. Keep writing those bullet point lists. I think the next one should be about horse testicles.

  13. I can’t believe I’ve never been to this blog before, so thank you, KLZ, for the introduction!

    I relate to writer’s block. Have had it a time or two or seven hundred and eighty five. Just keep writing, even if you don’t post a word of it. Before you know it, the words will come back to you. And probably, if you’re very lucky, you won’t even have to eat horse testicles.

  14. Anyone who can work horse testicles seamlessly into a post obviously still has a few brain cells left. You need to get yourself another hobby, because I don’t think you’re busy enough yet!

    Vegas for a wedding is NOT a fun pregnant vacation.

    And bullet points are fun. I feel like it’s a little glimpse into your head.

  15. Hi KLZ, so nice to see you here! I am so sorry that life is so hectic and chaotic for you right now…but at least your sense of humor is not waning and for that I’m glad.

    I am not doing half of what you are right now and I feel like if life doesn’t slow down soon I’m going to cry…so I’m sending good vibes!!! And hugs!!!! And wine…..for “later” 😉

  16. Thank you. THANK YOU, KLZ, for giving me the out “well, I COULD be eating horse testicles” for whenever things are dreadful. Because that would be worse than just about anything else that could be happening.

    Ew.

    Also? I hope things slow down for you.

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