Ok – it’s that time of year where resolutions are made. I really don’t like New Year’s Resolutions – because, well, why wait to make a change, if you know it will be for the better?
That said, I ended up at the grocery store the other day . . . and while I only needed an item or two (and, well, I’m not sure I can tell you what I needed – or whether or not I actually got them), I was hungry and was thinking about breakfasts & lunches. Because I had gotten into a pretty bad routine.
I try to work out every morning . . . whether that’s to go for a run, or get my ass to the pool to swim, or to cycle (and, in the bitter cold, cycling is winning out). Often, as a treat to myself on days that I work out, I buy myself a cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts. And, often, since I’m there, and I worked out, and I’m hungry, and I really should eat breakfast, I get a bagel. Or two donuts. or a muffin. Or all of the above. Because? Yum.
But, I know I’m, at best, simply undoing any of the good I had done for myself by dragging my ass out of bed at an ungodly time in the morning. And, really, what’s the point of dragging your ass out of bed at an ungodly time in the morning if it’s not to get yourself healthier? Ok, fine, you’re right – mind-blowing, toe-curling sex would be more valid answer than “working out.”
Anyway, I also try to work out, over lunch, three days a week at work (Duffy & the kids come up for lunch one day, and I go to visit her at her job the 5th day of the work week) . . . in a perfect world, I’d come back to the office and eat a nice salad or maybe some healthy leftovers at my desk. But, I typically don’t bring anything in, so I pick up takeout Chinese. Or Indian. Or a burrito . . . all very yummy, but never something that’s truly good for me, and all, frankly, far more expensive than I’d like to be spending.
So, last Tuesday, I’m at the grocery store & I decide to try drinking smoothies for breakfast, and then raw veggies for lunch for the week. Because, really, why not. While I’m not exactly a believer in “detox diets,” I won’t deny that eating/drinking a shitton of fruits & vegetables is far healthier than “the transfat special” from Dunkin’.
I purchased a random assortment of produce and went home to make dinner.
The next day, I worked out, but the time to end the workout, and shower, and dress, and change the babies diapers, and make smoothies came & went. See, I’m watching The Walking Dead as I work out . . . and it was the end of the episode, so I pedaled on.
Still, though, I wanted my smoothie, so I rushed through everything and tried to make it . . . in a hurry. So you won’t get anything but guesstimates for portions . . . and, frankly, I may be imagining or leaving out ingredients.
I pulled out the food processor.
Everyone who makes regular smoothies raves about kale in their smoothies . . . really, a low-calorie, high-fiber, iron-rich leafy green is a good thing — so I threw a bunch of kale leaves into the processor. And then I chunked up some carrots, added a banana, and a handful of grape tomatoes, and two clementines . . . and hit “go.”
Only, nothing happened . . . because it was early and I was in a rush and I had no idea that I had put the food processor together wrong, so the keep John’s fingers attached safety sensor tripped the circuit.
After some re-assemblage, I hit “go” again. And I had a . . . strange looking concoction. Without actually having a juicer, I just have a pulverized mess of foodstuff. So, I added some milk and some ice & hit “go” again . . . and I had a goupy mix of foodstuff.
This was, um, not good (I originally typed “food” instead of good there . . . and I believe that may have worked). I’ve eaten the mix for breakfast yesterday & today . . . I’ll admit that today was better than yesterday, but still, “not good.”
I’d post a picture, but it’s a greenish/yellowish goup that just barely pours . . . and is, therefore, not very appetizing. I need more milk next time so that I actually have a drink at the end (I’m “drinking” these smoothies with a spoon), and a lot more fruit. I think blueberries might actually work well.
And, there will be a next time . . . because I have more kale and a whole lot of spinach that I’m just dying to “eat” for breakfast.
If I find something good, you’ll hear about it here first.
I tried doing smoothies for breakfast in my week of attempting paleo. I never figured out how to not eat them with a spoon. There wasn’t enough coconut milk in the world. I blamed my blender for not being able to follow through on paleo. That and my desire to eat processed food every once in awhile!
I admit that I had to google “paleo” here . . . hadn’t heard of that diet.
I’ll admit to a real desire for a bag of Doritos or something equally “not natural.” My hope is to just limit those cravings over the next . . . well, lifetime. I truly do feel better when I’m not eating that sort of stuff.
I can’t believe you stuck with eating it.
You’re like a superhero.
But grosser.
Far far far grosser than Batman.
The next batch, I think, will be better. I hope.
Kale smoothies gross me out. B/c it’s like I’m chewing my drink. I guess I need something better to mix them with.
I don’t mind the spinach ones b/c that does actually chop up nicely and I can’t really taste it. Especially if I throw a banana in there.
I’m detoxing again staring Monday. Heaven help me.
I don’t mind the taste of kale, in limited quantities, but you’re right about the “chewing the drink.” I’m not sure there’s any way that I can use kale and not still have tiny particles that I know are “food” and not “liquid.”
My next batch, I think, will be kale, spinach, blueberry, banana, and apple. We’ll see how that goes.
Evidently I make smoothies wrong, because I put yogurt in them and only fruit. They’re actually pretty good that way.
Good luck on eating the rest of the goop. I’d forget to put it away and then, damn, have to toss it when I got home.
I thought about yogurt, but considering the vegetables that I was using, I figured milk would give me a better chance of something “drinkable.” I was wrong.
I, seriously, considered “forgetting” to put the goop away – but I feared the kids, then, somehow getting a hold of it, and that would have just been bad, all around.
I love the breakfast smoothie idea, for the simple reason that I’m terrible about eating breakfast. So around 11:00am, I’m a raving lunatic and will eat anything in reach.
I make mine in a blender and use yogurt as the base, toss a handful or so of whatever berries or chopped fruit I have in the freezer, about 1 tbsp of chia seeds and then thin it out with fruit juice or rice/almond/soy milk. Depending on the type of berries/fruit/juice I will sometime add a shot of honey for just a little sweetness.
Yeah, if I don’t eat before I get to work . . . there’s a snackfood vending machine 22 paces from my desk. Things get pretty bad. And that’s not good.
I’m normally pretty good about getting enough fruit in my diet, so I was hoping to “force feed” myself some vegetables here, but this batch just didn’t turn out. I’m going to add spinach to the kale, and include some frozen berries next time. #fingerscrossed
Making smoothies and I don’t mix well at all. We are like oil and water and just don’t mix. Now put me in front of a jamba juice and watch me order. 😉
You know, we don’t have a Jamba Juice around here . . . or, if we do, I have no idea where it is. But, that’s probably a good thing – seeing as I’m also trying to cut down on the amount I’m spending on food.
I’m not overly discouraged by this failure.
I’m not sure where there would be one around here as well. I actually haven’t been to one in years. To many calories in those things for me. 🙂
I really need someone to cook for me. To make smoothies for me. Etc.
I would love to eat healthfully. I honestly do not even crave junk food (don’t hate me. I eat crap. I just don’t want it).
But it’s the purchasing (expensive) and the preparing (ignorant) that get me every time.
So I suppose what I REALLY need is to win the lottery and pay someone to do my shopping and cooking for me.
And if he wants to clean up after, that’d be okay, too.
p.s. I haven’t been working out at all. I’m in dire need of inspiration.
So yes. A shopper. Chef. Cleaner-upper. Motivator. That’s all I need.
If there were a way to make it physically possible, I’d love to be a professional worker outer. I do the work, but the highest bidder gets the benefit.
And, I much prefer the preparation of food to the purchasing of food. But (don’t hate me), I actually enjoy cooking.
I like kale a lot but a kale smoothie? Ew. Good for you for choking that down.
Smoothie making I have found is a fine art.
Yeah, it’s an art that i haven’t even come close to approaching. I made three smoothies worth of this gunk . . . I don’t know if I just grew more used to it, or if it just mellows out over time, or what, but today’s was bearable.
I am equally intruiged and scared of detox, but I am pretty sure I need it. Because I had five cookies today. Five cookies.
Why workout to just eat it all back? 🙁
But now your post has me more scared. Greenish-yellow goop you need to eat with a spoon? Yikes.
See, for me, a five cookie day is a “pretty good day, eating-wise”
Mmmmm, cookies.
This “smoothie,” though, was yikes-worthy.
http://www.smoothieweb.com/category/vegetable-smoothies/
You’re welcome.
BTW, I asked for a juicer for Christmas for this exact reason. I got a juicer but sadly not the kind that makes smoothies. DOH.
Also…thank you for the card. It made me all kinds of happy.
From what I hear, you should be able to juice the stuff that doesn’t mash up and then blend it all together to make pretty good smoothies . . . although that means getting a bunch of stuff dirty in order to make a single smoothie, which I try to avoid.
How’s the juicer working for you?
If you have a juicer try juicing the carrots first and blending everything else up in a blender. I make one sometimes that is kale, peaches, strawberries, and ice. Or you could spinach instead of kale. No milk.
Good luck!
My next one is going to be kale, spinach, bananas, peaches, & blueberries, without ice. I’ll be back to post how it was.
keep playing with it. you’ll find the magic combo.
i use a blender. are they basically the same as food processors? i have this idea they get things more liquid-y.
i am very impressed by the amount of working out you do. and that you meet up with the wife for lunch once a month. Duffy IS the wife, yes? I am also a fan of Walking Dead and want to be a zombie extra sooooooooo badly. they have a school you know! it’s on youtube. hilarious.
Yes, Duffy is the wife 🙂
A food processor is much better at chopping things into itty-bitty bits than a blender is. I think the best thing would be to throw the vegetables into the food processor, get them all chopped up, and then throw everything into a blender.
But, part of finding “the magic combo” is that I want to include a boatload of veggies in the mix . . . I eat more vegetables than most, but I feel like I should be eating more. Something about kale in a smoothie just seems like it’s always going to leave me wanting . . . yet, this morning I made a half decent attempt.
Hi John,
I haven’t tried making smoothies, but know many who have. First rule is that you have to get a really good blender, maybe even splurge on the Vita Mix blender if you really get in to this. You’ll probably burn out your existing blender if you try to make kale smoothies.
Here’s a green smoothie recipie:
2 bananas peeled, 3 oranges peeled and quartered. 1 head of romaine lettuce, 4 cups water
Optional additions:
parsley, collards, celery, cilantro, green and red leaf lettuce, kale, bok choy, swiss chard, red beet, mango, seedless grapes, cucumber, carrot, green apples.
One thing, I really think with your lifestyle, you need to make sure you have some protein with each and every meal. I can’t stress that enough. Protein and complex carbohydrates and you’ll be all set. I’ve just discovered hemp seed. It’s yummy and packed with protein and essential oils, and you can put them right in the smoothie. Or have some hard cooked eggs on hand at all times and eat them.
Hardboiled eggs are my friend . . . I need to remember to keep more on hand at all times.
I’ll admit that I skip out on protein too often in morning meals, and then overdo it when I finally catch up . . . more balance wouldn’t be a bad idea for me.
I’m looking into hemp seed.
BTW, you should talk to Susie Kelley about the vegtable glop she makes herself every day. It tastes kind of like a thick V8 juice. She throws all sorts of stuff in it. It is sometimes pretty thick, and I think sometimes, in the evening, she puts vodka in it. Scott thinks it is gross. I had some of it once and found it very tasty.
Thick v8 juice + vodka would be a good friend of mine . . . I’m making plans to get to NJ sometime in late January, so I’ll be sure to stop by Susie’s & get her recipe.
good lord! Get a juicer, or make a smoothie with fruit and yogurt. I like the smoothie idea – I had the same one but I bought yoplait smoothie booster or something and I just add milk or juice. I need simplicity. 🙂
I’m going for frugal more than simplicity here . . . but, well, in the morning, I desire simplicity, too.
I think I’m asking for a juicer for the next holiday. That will be a good start, I think.
I am a sucker for kale. Love it. Ditch the ice!
This morning’s smoothie was kale, spinach, tomato, avocado, raspberry, and yogurt. And, while it was still far too thick to really consider it a “smoothie,” I actually liked it.
As far as the “leafy greens” go, I have kale listed right behind bok choy, and beet greens, and right ahead of collard greens . . . I truly do love it.
John?
Eeeewwww!
Maybe berries would be nice in a smoothie. Or, like, yogurt.
🙂
Yeah, I agree, there’s a bit of “eeeeewwww” to this smoothie thing. But, then again, there’s a bit of “eeeeewwww” to everything about me. :-p
Today, I made one with kale, spinach, tomato, avocado, carrot, and raspberry . . . I must say, while it looked putrid, it actually was very tasty.
Obviously you forgot the key ingredient: rum. Now THAT’S a smoothie. Or a Pina Colada. Whatever it is, it’s for more drinkable than what you choked down! 🙂
Have you heard about my “sangria smoothies?” I take cheap, boxed red wine, add a shitton of frozen berries and a peeled clementine or two, and blend.
After a few, I’ve been known to tweet about just how pantsless I am…
As always, I wish I had your dedication to working out. So when you do find the perfect smoothie recipe you need to post it with picks and share on Pinterest!
I really need to start getting into this whole “Pinterest” thing . . . my viewership goes up like 8,384% whenever somebody pins something of mine.
It’s the workout high that gets me. It’s always a struggle for me to even start a workout. And then, when I do get started, I’m hating it . . . but, like getting used to the water in a pool, what starts out as “barely tolerable” becomes “comfortable” and then “enjoyable.”
I need to remember that last bit . . . fortunately, lately, I have been able to.
How gross. But also terribly admirable. If I find a good recipe on pinterest, I’ll let you know. Where wrong with fruit and adding protein?
Also? I feel like a piece for not even getting my ass out to run 3 days a week when you work out twice a day. Gah.
You are histerical! I love this! I randomly found your blog and will be reading it regularly now 🙂