Where Katie offers advice on how best to survive #blogher12
Posting today is Katie of Sluiter Nation, and I can say that I’m honestly bummed that I won’t get to meet her at this year’s BlogHer, as I believe it was her very-pregnant recap of BlogHer last year that lead me to reading her regularly. Katie has a gift to make you laugh, or squee, or cry, or smile, or think, or to hand-over the keys to your blog & make the place hers.
Welcome, Katie 😉
The Daddy Blogger’s Guide to Surviving BlogHer12
Well, well, well.
John is letting me take over Daddy Runs A Lot today.
Just kidding. I love John and I was pretty honored that he would hand his space over to me today.
He let it spill lately that he is planning on going to BlogHer. I tried to point out that the second syllable there is HER, but I think that only egged him on more.
Anyway, as a BlogHer vet (I went last year. That makes me a vet, right?) and a “guy’s gal” (according to my husband and my dude friends), I decided he might need a little prepping before going.
A pre-game huddle, if you will.
So because I know you like bullet points, John, here is what you need to know going in to BlogHer:
- There will be screeching. When women meet face to face for the first time (or the 20th) they do something they call “Squeeing”. It is loud. It involves “hugging faces” and “squeezing your face” and lots of tappy dances while clinging to each other. At first, you will be all” YES! ALL THE WOMEN ARE ON EACH OTHER!” Then your ears will bleed. And you will start to panic when some of the women with you see other bloggers they want to meet. My advice, bring ear plugs. And get ready for your face to be squeezed.
- SO MUCH HUGGING. I hope you enjoy…or at least tolerate…your personal space invaded. Because if not? Take a tranquilizer now.
- I happen to know you have the expo pass. As I was told–and unfortunately ignored–no one likes a Swag Hole. I know it’s free, but that doesn’t mean you NEED it.
- Everyone there that is also a newb, will try to persuade you that you need ALL THE FREE THINGS. Let me repeat: you DO NOT.
- Don’t bring an extra suitcase just for free stuff. You will fill it as full as it will go, get home, set it aside, go through it MONTHS later and keep four things.
- Someone will think you don’t like them no matter how often you flash that dazzling smile of yours.
- Someone will think you didn’t like them.
- Someone will think you were “just not the same in person”.
- You will think someone was “just not the same in person.”
- Everyone that is there is socially awkward. I mean, the thing we have in common is talking to the people in our computer. Duh. But women are acutely aware that they are socially awkward and have the misconception that NO ONE ELSE is. They will tell you this repeatedly.
- Women talk about every blogger there (and not there…they will probably talk about me). They will preach about not being gossips AS THEY GOSSIP.
- wear comfy shoes. Everyone will tell you this. Then you will look around while you are in your comfy man shoes and realize not one woman is in comfy shoes.
- Be glad you are not a female newb or you would be in your closet crying right now because you would be sure that you have nothing to wear. Which would be false.
- The ladies will love you. A)you are Daddy Runs A Lot…duh. and B) you are one of four dudes there. And socially awkward mommy bloggers like to flirt. And the ones who are pregnant? Will probably hump your leg.
- You will have flash backs to high school dances at the parties. Women run in flocks, use the bathroom together, and try to impress each other with the height of their heels. And everyone gets drunk.
- You will laugh more than you have in months. Guaranteed. Because all those crazy women? Are crazy awesome.
There. Now you can be prepared.
Comfy shoes and that great smile. That is all you need, my dear Daddy who Runs A Lot.