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Where I’m reminded to be cautious while parenting

by John on February 27th, 2013

Wednesdays (or, on some weeks, Tuesdays1) have turned into my favorite night of the week. I leave work, drive to the gym, and I work out with Duffy while the kids spend time with either a family member or in the “child watch” room at our local Y2. After the work out, and a quick shower, we head to the local Panera for dinner (toddlers are creatures of habit, and a dinner of soup, bread, fruit punch, and a cookie is something that they like, and request, whenever possible). After eating, we head back to the gym and get ready to swim. And then we take advantage of “open pool” hours until the kids are sufficiently tired.

Anyway, after swimming, we make it a “bath night,” (whether the every-other-night baths were scheduled or not); Duffy showers with Leila, I shower with CJ, and we both put the kids into their PJ’s before driving home for what should be an easy beditme. In fact, I believe the original plan in scheduling these evenings was, really, to tire the kids out so that an easy bedtime could be had. Alas, my children seem to pull out some sort of demonic magic energy from swimming in the pool and spend the night dancing about the bed, trying to find a goat to sacrifice, to give proper thanks for this wealth of bedtime avoidance energy. The lesson, of course, is that no parenting plan ever executes as expected. Ever.

Last night, after getting out of the pool, it was downright cold, and I was quite eager to get into the shower, just to warm up. But, as soon as I turned on the water, CJ looked at me and said “I have to pee.”

When you have a recently toilet-trained little boy, you don’t tell him to “hold it.”

But I was shivering. And naked.

“Just pee in the shower,” I said, as this is a rite of passage for every man.

CJ said “oh, ok,” and nodded.

And then, just as I was warming up from the warm shower water, I see a stream heading toward me that wasn’t coming from a shower head.

My son took the “just pee in the shower” to heart, and was wielding the urine stream as a weapon.

I quickly said “no, pee straight down the drain,” but, by that point, he found the practice hilarious.

So yeah, I taught my boy a new trick.


1 The more astute of you may realize that I’m posting this post on a Wednesday, which means that I’m likely telling a tale from a Tuesday night.
 When we first came up with this plan, our plan was to head to a spinning class together, so we would actually be “working out together,” but spinning classes are on schedules . . . and schedules are something best left abandoned when dealing with my two minions cherubic toddlers.
11 Comments
  1. How funny. Mark taught Felix that very same man trick.

    And now? My little camel saves up his pee for his shower, because peeing in the shower is HILARIOUS.

    Eew.

    • I was all hopeful that CJ had “forgotten” the trick for this week’s family swim. When we went to the shower, he, again, asked to pee – and we went to the potty and he did his thing.

      But then, at the end of the shower, just as I turned off the shower, his shower turned on. It was hilarious to him.

      Ew.

  2. Very important: never keep a goat hanging about when you’ve got kids around. It can only end in tears (I’m thinking of that scene with the velociraptors in Jurassic Park).

    We’re in the middle of potty training my daughter, and I totally get the urgency needed in making a fast decision. Even if it comes back to bite you.

    • My daughter is absolutely refusing to be potty-trained. It’s driving me nuts. But, I’m afraid that, as she watches her brother stand to go, whenever she is ready, it’s going to be difficult.

      • We might be turning a corner with the training; she’s pooped twice on the potty in two days, which matches the number over the previous two months of work. Luck with yours.

  3. No, no , no, I did not just read that. la la la la la

    • Lalalalalalala.

      You have a boy – he’ll be doing the same, oh so soon 🙂

  4. I love finding these things out on the blog. Really.

    • My blog provides a great public service . . . boob & dick jokes for the masses. And embarrassing stories to share with my family. I don’t know why this blog isn’t the “must read” blog for the entire interweb.

  5. heh heh.
    PS that night sounds super fun. I wonder if I have the energy to try something like that this summer…

    • Your comment got caught in my spam filter! Bad spam filter, bad! Hopefully, you’re white-listed now.

      Anyway, the night is super fun (this week, we’re possibly going to go bowling instead, as the pool is undergoing maintenance), and has become my favorite night of the week (which is saying something, when my week includes band night and symphony night and Friday night)

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