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Where I look for my motivation
This is a premature post . . . a single, difficult situation is not something that I need to truly regroup from, but it’s still better for me to organize my thoughts for a little bit. And I’ll just take the rest of you along with me.
Today, in a truly unfortunate series of events, my stress level went from “manageable” to “full-on emergency.” Everything was handled, but I was . . . worked up, to say the least. Since then, my heart-rate has returned to normal. I’m chill, once again. But, damn, do I want to eat.
Immediately after the emergencies were handled, I talked myself out of chips from the vending machine. My logic was that, if I’m going to splurge, I want to make it worth it; I have no real options to splurge aside from the vending machine.
When the call of possibly-stale Doritos struck, though, I reminded myself that I have a couple of hours to kill after work, before my triumphant return to symphony rehearsal tonight . . . and my favorite bar has Guinness and All-You-Can-Eat wings and curvy bartenders wearing skimpy, form-fitting tops.
That thought got me past the lure of the Doritos — but I absolutely cannot allow myself to visit that bar if I want to maintain my healthy posture.
I’ll admit, I’m really struggling in talking myself out of that Siren’s call . . . but I will head directly to the gym after work. I will work out for, at least, an hour. I will shower. And then I will sit down and take inventory. Just how hungry am I? What am I actually craving (my guess will be protein and veggies and a little salt . . . and beer, and I’ll be trying hard to not think about this article)?
And then I’m going to try, really hard, to not think about the way that hot sauce & blue-cheese dressing mix with crispy fried chicken skin, and how well a cold Guinness neutralizes any discomfort derived from capsaicin. I’ll find something reasonable. Somehow.