Where I look for my motivation

This is a premature post . . . a single, difficult situation is not something that I need to truly regroup from, but it’s still better for me to organize my thoughts for a little bit. And I’ll just take the rest of you along with me.

Today, in a truly unfortunate series of events, my stress level went from “manageable” to “full-on emergency.” Everything was handled, but I was . . . worked up, to say the least. Since then, my heart-rate has returned to normal. I’m chill, once again. But, damn, do I want to eat.

Immediately after the emergencies were handled, I talked myself out of chips from the vending machine. My logic was that, if I’m going to splurge, I want to make it worth it; I have no real options to splurge aside from the vending machine.

When the call of possibly-stale Doritos struck, though, I reminded myself that I have a couple of hours to kill after work, before my triumphant return to symphony rehearsal tonight . . . and my favorite bar has Guinness and All-You-Can-Eat wings and curvy bartenders wearing skimpy, form-fitting tops.

That thought got me past the lure of the Doritos — but I absolutely cannot allow myself to visit that bar if I want to maintain my healthy posture.

I’ll admit, I’m really struggling in talking myself out of that Siren’s call . . . but I will head directly to the gym after work. I will work out for, at least, an hour. I will shower. And then I will sit down and take inventory. Just how hungry am I? What am I actually craving (my guess will be protein and veggies and a little salt . . . and beer, and I’ll be trying hard to not think about this article)?

And then I’m going to try, really hard, to not think about the way that hot sauce & blue-cheese dressing mix with crispy fried chicken skin, and how well a cold Guinness neutralizes any discomfort derived from capsaicin. I’ll find something reasonable. Somehow.

10 comments

    1. You know, for my birthday, my mother-in-law got me a collection of all of my favorite candies . . . it’s damn near impossible to not break down and eat the whole thing, every day.

      Fortunately, my kids are making little-dent by little-dent in the collection.

  1. Oh my gosh I know *exactly* what you mean. For the past couple of weeks, it has occurred to me that I think I’ve developed a terribly unhealthy relationship with food. Maybe because I practice the oh-so-healthy method of repression regarding emotions but I’m now hungry all the time. As in, I think about what I’m going to eat next while I eat it. So… that’s worrisome, right? I suggested to my friends they should hold an intervention but they don’t have a banner and possibly want me to die of heart disease, as they haven’t intervened yet.

    1. I can’t tell you how often I’ll sit down for lunch and think “I wonder when I can sneak a snack in . . . and can that snack be tortilla chips? because tortilla chips are yummy . . . or maybe a burger.”

      So, we share that same….issue, because I don’t know what else to call it.

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